“God dwells within me, as me” – Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
I watched this movie tonight and while there were many quotable lines within it, this one leaped out at me. I remember it from reading the book…I think I might have even underlined it.
I can’t say I totally agree with what she is saying here however I do believe there is some truth to it àGod created me to be me and no one else. The world has ideas as to who I should be and what I should do but all I need to do is what God has made me to do. All I need to be is who He designed me to be. That’s it.
So who is the woman living in my home? Is she an actress simply playing a part, a part that is not really her? Or is she exactly who she is meant to be? Is she herself, living the part she is meant to live?
I honestly don’t know the answer to that question. I think, quite possibly, that I am a bit of both…A woman who, for much of my life, has lived as the person I thought that I was supposed to be, that I thought I was expected to be based on the ideas and desires of others. And yet, through those years there has always been a part of me that has fought against those things, those ideas.
“’I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord.”(Jeremiah 29:11)
“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16)
These are just two of numerous verses found in the Bible that talk about how God knows me, all of me, knew me before I even existed, and has a plan for me. It’s not random. He’s created me to be who I am, with the personality, skills, talents, gifts, quirks and craziness that make up who I am. He’s made me exactly who I am supposed to be. The trick is taking the time, making the effort, SLOWING DOWN MY LIFE long enough to let Him show me who that is, to actually see who that is, and then to accept and live in that.
I’m not very good at slowing down, at giving myself room to breathe, to really be quiet and just listen. I’m quite miserable at it actually. But I am realizing that I need to get better at it. I don’t know if I will ever see all the parts of the whole that He desires me to be but I do know that as I take the time to listen and to just be I will see far more of them than I can even imagine possible right now. I am loving all that I see now, with a few exceptions (like that darn muffin top that I can’t seem to get rid of….and maybe don’t really care about anymore), and am excited to see more. I am excited to see exactly what the purposes and plans are that He has for me. I take comfort in knowing that I don’t have to be anyone I am not and while some may not always like who I am, it only matters that I am who God wants me to be and He’ll take care of the rest.
I am learning to live this life real, as me, no more made up parts.
How about you? Are you living as the person God has created you to be or are you playing a part? Are you stuck in a role you never chose for yourself because of circumstance or choices? If you’re playing a part that isn’t fitting, ask God for a new script, one written by Him. And if you are stuck, take comfort in the knowledge that while you may not be able to change your circumstances, you can, with His help, change who you are in them. All you have to do is want to be who God wants you to be, look to him to show you who that person is and then live what he shows you. But be ready…it’s going to be one hell of a ride!