No More Made Up Parts

“God dwells within me, as me” – Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

I watched this movie tonight and while there were many quotable lines within it, this one leaped out at me. I remember it from reading the book…I think I might have even underlined it.

I can’t say I totally agree with what she is saying here however I do believe there is some truth to it àGod created me to be me and no one else. The world has ideas as to who I should be and what I should do but all I need to do is what God has made me to do. All I need to be is who He designed me to be. That’s it.

So who is the woman living in my home? Is she an actress simply playing a part, a part that is not really her? Or is she exactly who she is meant to be? Is she herself, living the part she is meant to live?

I honestly don’t know the answer to that question. I think, quite possibly, that I am a bit of both…A woman who, for much of my life, has lived as the person I thought that I was supposed to be, that I thought I was expected to be based on the ideas and desires of others. And yet, through those years there has always been a part of me that has fought against those things, those ideas.

“’I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord.”(Jeremiah 29:11)

“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16)

These are just two of numerous verses found in the Bible that talk about how God knows me, all of me, knew me before I even existed, and has a plan for me. It’s not random. He’s created me to be who I am, with the personality, skills, talents, gifts, quirks and craziness that make up who I am. He’s made me exactly who I am supposed to be. The trick is taking the time, making the effort, SLOWING DOWN MY LIFE long enough to let Him show me who that is, to actually see who that is, and then to accept and live in that.

I’m not very good at slowing down, at giving myself room to breathe, to really be quiet and just listen. I’m quite miserable at it actually. But I am realizing that I need to get better at it. I don’t know if I will ever see all the parts of the whole that He desires me to be but I do know that as I take the time to listen and to just be I will see far more of them than I can even imagine possible right now. I am loving all that I see now, with a few exceptions (like that darn muffin top that I can’t seem to get rid of….and maybe don’t really care about anymore), and am excited to see more. I am excited to see exactly what the purposes and plans are that He has for me. I take comfort in knowing that I don’t have to be anyone I am not and while some may not always like who I am, it only matters that I am who God wants me to be and He’ll take care of the rest.

I am learning to live this life real, as me, no more made up parts.

How about you? Are you living as the person God has created you to be or are you playing a part? Are you stuck in a role you never chose for yourself because of circumstance or choices? If you’re playing a part that isn’t fitting, ask God for a new script, one written by Him. And if you are stuck, take comfort in the knowledge that while you may not be able to change your circumstances, you can, with His help, change who you are in them. All you have to do is want to be who God wants you to be, look to him to show you who that person is and then live what he shows you. But be ready…it’s going to be one hell of a ride!

Copy & Paste...Join the Boycott!

“Dear Little Caylee, Tonight on ET [Entertainment Tonight] they mentioned that your mommy is gonna make lots of money off a book (her story) and a movie. Caylee, we the public promise you "WE" will not buy either one. If you promise CAYLEE, then Copy and Paste it......I did!! Lets boycott this so she won't make a dime. Re-post if you will join.”

I saw this tonight on Facebook.

This is what I really want to say in response:

“God help you if you ever find yourself in a position when everyone has decided you’ve done something unforgiveable and decides you should be punished for life for it. Have you forgotten that we are ALL sinners, we are ALL undeserving of the grace and forgiveness we have received?  Have you forgotten that without it, you are no better than she? What part of this boycott declaration is in keeping with what the Bible teaches about judgement?  Where in the Bible does it say we should only extend grace and forgiveness and second chances to the innocent?  Didn’t Jesus, as he was dying on that cross, declare the thief hanging next to him to be free of his sins?

EVERYONE is deserving of a second chance, even those you don’t think deserve one, including Casey Anthony. 

Is it any wonder the world wants nothing to do with the church when the very people who have experienced grace and forgiveness are often the last ones to give it??  WHEN will we stop judging and playing the role of God and start really being Jesus in this world?  If we say we want to be more like Him, why aren’t we?  Yes there are consequences to our actions and when we do wrong, when we sin and hurt others, we have to be held accountable.  But there is a big difference between accountability and judgement.  When will we allow God to do the judging while we do the loving?

When will we as a community start living lives that declare NEVER BEYOND to the world, when will we really be different?  When will we reach out to the lost and broken and unworthy and show them mercy and hope and love? When will I?”

That is what I wanted to say in response to that Facebook status.  But I didn’t.  Instead I said nothing…but I don’t know if that’s the right response either.

What about you?  What would be, or will be, your response if you see someone you are friends with post that as their status?  What do you think that tells the world about your faith if you were to post the same thing?  How does it make you feel when you read it?

NEVER BEYOND     PEOPLE OF THE SECOND CHANCE 

A Mom's Heart

I dropped my oldest child off at camp this afternoon.  A pretty normal thing for a mom to do in the summer and not an experience I am unfamiliar with.  But today it was hard.

This year she didn't want to go to camp and I was a mean mom and made her go anyway.  It's good for her.  She just didn't want to go because she's 11 and moody and it's a camp that's new to her.  She was going if I had to drag her there kicking and screaming.

So why was it so hard for me to drive away today?

I think there are a few reasons not the least of which is that we have grown really close this summer and I have seen huge changes in her that thrill my heart to pieces...and I have a feeling she's going to be still more changed when she comes back from camp.  I love the young woman she's becoming but I sure do miss my baby girl...and every day is another day farther from the baby and closer to teh grown woman. 

Another reason is she's at the age now where what others think of you is really starting to matter.  She's gorgeous, inside and out.  She's smart and funny and talented and athletic and just completely wonderful and I can't help but be a little worried that others won't see what I see...that SHE won't see what I see.  Being the age that she is it's easy for feelings to be hurt, misunderstandings to occur, and I am feeling a little worried that someone will do just that while she is away and I am not there to comfort her broken heart. 

And lastly...it was hard for me to drive away from camp with just her brother in the car because honestly, I am a little afraid he's going to drive me completely insane this week.  No lie.  The kid talks and talks and talks....about all kinds of things that I really am not all that interested in or that involve so many details (and questions) I just can't keep it all straight in my head!  I love him, he's my baby, but he has a the capability of driving me completely mental.  And I am kinda afraid he's going to burn down the house while he's home on his own and I am at work! 

In all seriousness though, it's going to be a strange week with just her brother and I.  I miss my girl big time.  We had a great week together last week when her brother was at camp.  I know it's going to be a great week with him while she's away.  It's just a bit strange. 

I am thrilled that my kids have the chance to attend camp each summer.  It's only because of the generosity of others that they get this opportunity as I couldn't afford it on my own.  It's such a blessing.  My prayer is that, while my daughter is at camp this year, she'll not only make friends with some really great girls, friendships that carry forward into the coming years, but that she'll encounter God like she never has before and that she'll come home with a new sense of her worth and the confidence that comes from knowing she matters to Him.  While she is gone, this mother's heart is going to be praying hard for her....knowing that this summer could change everything for her.


As a parent, have you ever had a moment in your child's life that you felt was pivotal in shaping how the coming days went?  Ever taken your kid to camp?  How did you feel, how did you deal with those feelings and what came out of it?